"He is your son… She is your mother."
by: Judy Marie Santiago Aladin
On the way to His death on the cross, Jesus took a moment to entrust John to Mary and Mary to John. He was not only fulfilling his duty as a son but also creating a new family, one that goes beyond blood. Jesus showed us the breadth and depth of a child's love for their mother right then and there.
A mother's love for her child is absolute, but a child's love for their mother is endless. I am privileged to witness this every day as a mother of two: a five-year-old girl and a six-month-old boy. No matter how flawed, sinful, and weary I am, their love is pure and constant, much like Jesus' love for his mother.
Before the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I resigned from my dream job—one that had been my purpose for over six years—to be a full-time wife and mother to my daughter, who was born prematurely. A few days later, the lockdowns began. At first, I was sure I made the right choice. But as my bank account slowly drained and we remained isolated in our condo, away from family, doubt and despair crept in. I felt useless. I lost interest in eating. I’d rather not take a bath. I dreaded sleep because waking up felt unbearable. One night, I finally admitted to my husband: "I think I might be depressed."
On my 32nd birthday—nearly the same age Jesus was when He died—I used what little money I had from reselling products to consult with a psychologist. Sitting in our parked car, drenched in sweat, she told me, "Mommy, you love your child so much; you forgot that you need to love yourself, too."
That's when it hit me: I had to be well. With my doctor's advice, I started showing love to myself. I didn’t skip showers. I enjoyed eating again. I moved and got the daily dose of sunlight that I needed. But more importantly, I strengthened my support system. I couldn't afford another session, and I didn't want to burden my husband, so I had to turn to something else—something greater. I reconnected with three college friends who are fellow mothers, and we began holding Bible study sessions every week. To this day, our Zoom meetings are my therapy sessions. My daughter became my sun, and Jesus became my life.
Reflecting on Jesus' words to Mary and John, I think about what Mary must have felt. Did she feel helpless about Jesus' impending death? Did she feel betrayed that her obedience led to this? Mary raised, nurtured, and loved Jesus as her own, only to be taken away from her. And yet, Jesus saw her. He didn't let her endure the pain alone. He gave her a son who would care for her, just as He gave me people to support me. And as for John, how could he refuse to be given a mother? Jesus gives us people to love and who will love us back because He is merciful. And as we love each other, God is glorified.
Jesus didn't want mothers or children to be alone. That's why He entrusted Mary to John even in His final moments. He wanted to ensure His mother would be cared for, just as He ensures that we, too, are never forgotten. Mothers love so deeply that they often forget they are also worthy of love. I am a living proof that while we may be blessed with children, we still face struggles that only another mother could truly understand.
On top of the load we carry daily, we bear the weight of a fear no mother wants to face—that one day, we might lose our children. Mary knew that pain. She stood at the foot of the cross as her only Son suffered and died. No one knows how much it broke her heart. Yet Jesus, in His love, assured her that she would always be cherished, loved, and revered.
To all the mothers who are in the dark and feel invisible to the world, remember that Jesus sees you. He sees all your worries, sacrifices, and even your dreams that remain unfulfilled because of parenthood. He loves you, and you are worthy of love. Rest in His love.
As I look at my children, I imagine them as parents someday. As much as I want to protect them my whole life, they will, one day, leave me. My only prayer is that when they face their own struggles, they will remember this: In her lowest, their mother turned to Jesus—and she lived.
Prayer
Lord, I lift to You all the mothers who feel alone, worthless, or unloved. Remind them daily that You see them, that they are more precious than sparrows, and that You have a plan for their lives. May they realize that motherhood is a beautiful season of their lives, and that you always hold them in the palm of Your hand. Amen.
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Judy Marie Santiago Aladin is an editor at Smart Parenting, the parenting brand of Summit Media. She has worked in media, corporate, and non-profit organizations, but considers motherhood the most challenging, rewarding, and fulfilling job of all.