First Word

  "Forgive them, Father, they don't know what they are doing."

                                                     by Ginger Nepomuceno
Forgive. Borrowing a common term from the Millenials, Wow! Big word… Forgiveness is indeed a big word in this day and age, where social media tells you to let go of people that destroy your inner peace. How can one fully forgive and do self-love at the same time? How do you strike that balance? Truly forgiving wrongdoing is one of the hardest things to do in this lifetime. I know it for a fact because I experienced it, am experiencing it and for sure will continue to experience it. Let me tell you a personal story. It was May 2020. Yes, this happened during COVID-19 darkest era. Face masks on. Enhanced Community Quarantine. Strict checkpoints. Barangay and Military presence. Nobody leaves the house without the community pass. If you live in a village, deafening silence is the 24X7 norm. Our household got COVID and following the protocols, we were home quarantined for 14 days. We were not allowed to go anywhere. There were round the clock checks with the barangay and health workers. Aside from aiming to be well, we had to survive day by day with no help from the outside world. The first 2 days went fine. Household taking the Vitamin C and meds. We were eating whatever was left in the fridge since no one was allowed to leave the house. We were at the mercy of our Barangay for food which unfortunately did not come our way. Constant communication with the barangay and health workers was a must. The first five days were done quietly as expected. Succeeding days took a turn for the worse. We began receiving complaints from the neighborhood. They claimed that we were breaking protocols. We leave the house. We cough outside our house. We spit on our roads. The rest of the days felt like hell. The neighborhood pounded on the barangay to make us leave the premises. What was worse, one late night, a group of men threw rocks at our house and broke our roof and gates. And on Day Nine, men in military uniform accompanied by the Barangay workers came to the house to collect us because of the never-ending badgering of our neighbors. None of their reported misbehaviors ever happened. We were accused falsely and things got out of control, perhaps out of fear that they would contract covid. It was our form of crucifixion. Personally, I felt betrayed, insulted and very angry. They were our neighbors for 17 years. How could they treat us this way? Being wrongly accused is hurtful but being treated wrongly is even more hurtful. I could not utter Jesus Christ's word, “Forgive them Father for they do not know what they are doing”. Oh how I abhorred them. I wish I could be an inch of Jesus Christ that time. But I am only human. Pain got the best of me. From then on, I walked away from my neighbors. I have cut my ties, in all aspects. I lived in the village as if they did not exist. Year after year, I carried the burden. I could not let go of the hatred. I fervently prayed day in and out, Lord, please teach me to forgive and move forward. I couldn’t do it on my own, no matter how hard I try. There were days it felt God answered my prayer, but more days were spent with my rhetoric and reliving the pain. Fast forward to Year 2025, has anything changed? Yes indeed. God helped me to forgive. Time heals all wounds. This year’s Catholic Jubilee theme is “Pilgrims of Hope”. Allow me to utter this: Hope lives. And it all starts with forgiveness. My story is a testament not only to the agony of injustice but also the profound struggle of forgiveness. It’s a testament to one’s strength and vulnerability on forgiveness after experiencing an ordeal. Forgiveness often feels like an uphill climb, especially when the wounds are fresh, and the injustice leaves scars. It’s important to remember that forgiveness isn’t about absolving others of their actions or condoning wrongdoing. It’s about freeing yourself from the chains of anger and bitterness that can weigh heavily on your heart. It’s an act of self-love, in its truest sense, because you allow yourself the peace you deserve.
Striking the balance between forgiveness and self-love means prioritizing your own healing first. It’s okay to set boundaries with those who’ve wronged you. It doesn’t mean you’re unkind or unforgiving. It means you’re valuing your emotional well-being. Forgiveness is a process, not an event, and it’s perfectly fine to take time to get there. May my story remind you of the resilience of the human spirit. If it helps, perhaps forgiveness can also be reframed as an act for you, not for those who hurt you. Start small—acknowledge the hurt, be kind to yourself, and embrace the idea that you’re worthy of emotional freedom. Have you been shamed? Have you been mistreated? How did God help you break from the chain of pain, anger and mistrust? And lastly, how does it feel after forgiving? Seal that triumphant feeling of letting go so when life gives you another curb, remember that triumphant feeling. Perhaps my story resonates to your heart. Perhaps this is something new to you and you may one day need to forgive. One thing is certain, Jesus Christ showed us the genuine way to forgiveness.

Prayer:

Forgive them Father for they do not know what they are doing. Forgive me Father that I carried the pain on my own for years. Forgive us Father that we cannot easily forgive the way you do.

Lord, teach us the act of forgiveness when it is so hard to forgive. Amen.

Ginger Nepomuceno is currently working in an Information Technology company. When time permits, she attends The Feast – Bellevue Alabang, PM session. She has been a Tuloy sa Don Bosco Volunteer since 2004.